Life Without Baby

filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

Comments

  1. The first day of school pictures, the new baby pictures, the wows of being a parent, and so much more. Some days I like/love pictures, but there are others that it just triggers a sadness.
    I can’t even sign-in on Mother’s Day.

  2. I’ve unfriended several relatives on facebook because of the non-stop posting of pictures of everything that their baby is doing or has done. It got way too much for me to handle.

    • I unfollowed most of my relatives I keep them as my friends but don’t follow them so I don’t have to see their posts. Its way too much for me to handle whenever I get on Facebook to see their happy family posts. I’ve not been following them for that last 6 months and I can tell I’m in a much better mood.

  3. When people say, I never knew happiness until I became a mom.

    I want to respond with a comment about how horrible nd miserablentheir life was without kids.

    I have stage four breast cancer and getting my ovaries out at age 36. When my friends whine about petty stuff or complain about having a toddler, I do remind them they are blessed to have those complaints. I am not shy about out it.

    • Well done to you Andrea for telling them they are blessed to have those complaints. Do you mind me asking if they receive your comments well?

  4. I take about a week off around Mother’s Day. Today I’m thinking I should skip over the whole back to school season. Like a knife to the gut every time. “They grow up so fast!” Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

  5. I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I enjoy seeing what my family and friends are up to, but it drives me nuts to see my friends “like” various “mommy” articles and such. It’s their prerogative to follow “mommy” pages, I just don’t want to see it cause I’ll never be part of that club! I’m learning how to “hide” those things from my feed. Wish I had learned it a long time ago!

  6. Ah Facebook. Yes, the countless kiddie pictures are definitely no fun. The ultimate reminder to those of us without kids. And they’re always there. It feels like everyone under the sun that you’ve ever known EVER has kids…oh and they all happen to be perfect kids too. And the pictures are almost always accompanied by text that reads: “So proud of my little boy/girl” or “I can’t believe she’s 3 already!” or “The best thing that’s ever happened to me”…… blah, blah, blah. (It’s Whiny Wednesday, so I can be a little snarky, right?) And now I’m seeing my students having babies (I’ve been a teacher for 25 years), and friends who are older than I am having babies (I’m 45) and it’s like…ugh, really?. So I’ve decided to post tons of pictures of my cats, as if they were my children. My cats napping, my cats stretching, my cats looking out the window, my cats napping again. A little passive-aggressive? Maybe. A little annoying? Yeah probably. But I say “Put that in your pipe and smoke it.”

    • Lol! That’s great! I’m going to have to start doing that with my dog! I might even get her a back to school backpack, ha!

  7. Ah Facebook! The endless daily photos of other people’s children. A constant reminder that I am without. And there’s always a little text to go along with those pics like” The best thing that ever happened to me”, or “I can’t believe she’s already 3 years old!”, or “Our precious little miracle”…blah blah blah. (It’s Whiny Wednesday so I can get a little snarky, right?).
    I like to retaliate by posting endless photos of my cats. My cats snoozing, my cats lounging, my cats looking out the window, my cats snoozing again…A little passive-aggressive? Maybe. Annoying? Probably. But I say, “Put that in your pipe and smoke it.”

    • I see my post came up 2x. When I didn’t get the instant gratification of my post showing up right away, I had to try again. Sorry for the repetition.

      • Mine never showed up at all until just now…
        And I retyped several times but when I posted it wont let me post it posted right away…
        It is rather frustrating

        • Liza, Nita,
          Wordpress occasionally likes to file perfectly legit comments as spam or trash. No idea why. I’ve even hired a pro to try to figure it out, but it seems like it’s one of those tech quirks.
          I try to go into the site every day and free any trapped comments, so if you have comments that don’t show up right away, sit tight. I will get to them.
          I agree is it VERY frustrating. Perhaps this is my whine for this week. šŸ˜
          ~Lisa

          • I have noticed this too, and not just on your blog, but yes, it is mostly WordPress blogs. Thanks for monitoring your comments so closely! šŸ™‚

  8. I stopped getting on Facebook about a week or two before Mother’s Day, mainly because of entries & comments on this site. It was such a great idea. I never would have thought of it! Staying off FB for a couple of weeks made me realize how much I had been reacting to what I was seeing on FB. So I haven’t gone back! Occasionally I will look over my husband’s shoulder & get an eye full of baby announcements, pics of how great my kids are, etc, & I think, Yep I made the right call. The flip side of it is, though, is I am not sure how to share about infertility or my journey as easily as posting a comment or link to a good blog entry. I am having to figure out how to talk about it – in person!

  9. I mostly have my friends with kids on “Hide”. I especially despise baby scan photos (honestly, they should be restricted to close family only anyway at the best of times: how is anyone else even interested in them). I’m not as bad now that most of my friends are in their early forties but when they were getting pregnant it was awful. One best friend in particular who knew about my struggles was always posting ‘bump’ comments and scans and I suppose I just took it personally. I hate those comments under the baby photos “Aw they are the best thing that will happen to you” and “They are the greatest gift!”.
    I dunno: it just shakes your composure I suppose, makes you think you’re missing out on something amazing.

  11. Back to scool pictures dont bother me, baby pictures (not in excess) does not bother me, what bothers me is those cutsie sayings “you dont know love until you are a Mother or a Grandmother” or one recently “I thought being a Mom was important but being a grandmother is Fun” so I dont know love, I am unimportant and I dont have fun and people wonder why I am depressed.
    Also those silly games that leaves others out…where you tag moms to post pictures of their kids, family etc or the questioneers where you tell about your childbrth or your kids etc
    Quit tagging & playing games others cannot play too

  12. I completely ditched Facebook and deleted my profile for he better part of a year. Then I felt like I was missing out. So, back on Facebook with a different profile and only 2 friends. I just couldn’t take the baby pics anymore!

  13. A friend and I were pregnant at the same time, but I had a miscarriage and have not been pregnant since. She’s just had her second baby and her post on facebook says they are delighted that their family is complete. I am generally ok with my no kids status, but this hits a nerve. As does a recent one on facebook where my close female friends were each writing about what makes them proudest about being a mother. I’d have to leave facebook if I couldn’t hide posts like that. It would be nice if others had a little more awareness and empathy.