By Lisa Manterfield
Next week we celebrate Thanksgiving here in the U.S. and I am looking forward to it. A couple of years ago, Mr. Fab and I started a new tradition of spending the day with good friends. Mr. Fab is cooking a decidedly nontraditional Thanksgiving dinner, so all I’ll have to do, aside from a few sous chef duties, is show up and have a good time.
I know for many of you, Thanksgiving might not be such a fun time. Traditionally, it’s a holiday when families gather, which might mean facing insensitive relatives and prying questions about children. It also marks the beginning of what can often be the most difficult time of the year, with social gatherings, kid-oriented activities, and constant reminders of the many ways we don’t get to celebrate the holidays.
I love that this community includes new readers and seasoned pros, so let’s help one another out this year by sharing ideas on getting through the season with our hearts intact.
What are some of the issues you know you’ll face this holiday season? What events are you dreading? What’s going to be hardest for you?
And perhaps most important of all, how to do plan to get through the season with minimum emotional damage?
For more tips, inspiration, and support, check out the Life Without Baby Holiday Companion, available now at Amazon.com and in PDF format at Gumroad.
I am currently reliving the anniversary of having to return our adopted baby to the birth parents. It’s been 5 years but when this time of the year comes, the grief is unbelievable. I try to take care of myself well, by seeing my outpatient counselor who knows my history well, talking to friends, at times talking with my husband and still trying to keep up my regular, activities. With the grief piece I give myself a 20-30 minutes each day during this tough time and journal, cry, punch a pillow , feel as angry and as sad as I need to . At the end of that times, I wash my face, and say a prayer and try to re- engage with my life not related to this issue. I think also for me accepting our family is intact with me and my husband and our holidays are non traditional and to embrace that, more than wish they were different. Not always easy! But I will say, spending time with people who love me, and less time with the ones who don’t get it helps. I am truly grateful for this community which loves me as I am and supports and laughs together! Thank you to all of you!