This hot-button whine was sent in from one of our readers.
When you read an interview of some celebrity or hear someone say:
“I never knew what love was until I had a child.”
So…is she saying that because I’m childfree I’m not capable or “real” love, or because I’m childfree I will be denied the experience of the highest expression of love?
Whether this makes your blood boil or cuts you to the core, whine away, sisters!
And if you have another great whine you need to get off your chest this week, here’s the place to let it rip.
It’s both hurtful AND infuriating to hear someone insinuate that I do not know what real love is because I am childless not by choice. The love and care I give to my husband, elderly Mom and in-laws, and to my former pet are as real as love gets!
I agree that it irks me to hear those statements. Not even totally sure how to describe what emotions it evokes!
I also hate when people say things along the line of “she is my life” or “he made my life complete”. Again seems to say that those of us childless not by choice don’t really have “lives” or are not complete as compared to someone with a child.
Definitely a pet peeve of mine. I’d also add comments like “any parent would understand” when talking about events that are particularly emotional, like anyone without children couldn’t comprehend the emotions.
I once read this somewhere (don’t remember where so I can’t give credit – I’m sorry) but this works well with “Christians”… Jesus didn’t have kids… so I guess he didn’t know love! – stops them dead in their tracks!!!
Kristine; This will also work well for all Christians… John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
My dear friends of the blog ! We all know love in different ways, in many ways…
I believe those who don’t walk our walk could show us a little bit more compassion… just saying…
Praying for all of us !
The most regularly heard on TV is ‘As a mum…’ fill in the rest. Used to claim more legitimacy and more right to an opinion on pretty much any tragic event at home or abroad.
OMG, spot on with this one .. I’m glad i’m not the only one who feels furious when hearing that statement! It makes me feel like i’m missing out big time and i can’t even control that, it’s not my fault that I don’t have a child! Also I agree with the above .. when mothers/fathers say “She is the joy of our lives” or “So blessed etc etc” as if us childless folks are not blessed beings .. argh!!! I can go on and on ..
This, more than almost anything else, makes my blood boil. I’m not even going to write more, it will just make me angrier
This statement is so wrong! Childless couples experience more love than couples with children. We have the strong love for children that are our angels or we have the sttrong love for the children we wish we had. This is such a garbage statement that really makes me steamed!
The problem with this one is that I think it’s true, I think it is a special kind of love, that (most) parents feel for their children.
And that I will never get to feel.
This makes me feel inexperienced and immature and stupid.
Maybe think of it this way: You are capable of a depth of understanding and compassion that the “I never knew love…” crowd will never have, because they were never be forced to grow in that direction. You may not have a parent-child relationships, but some of your other relationships will be deeper because you’re clued in to emotions and cues that they miss.
Brilliant NicoleH!! thanks for sharing that perspective… excellent point!
Oh yes. Of course i dont know love. I also dont know selflessness. Me? The nurse? Doesnt know how to be selfless….
INTERESTING!!
It makes me very angry and sad at the same time. Angry, because people who say such things must be very self centered. Sad, because these same people know only how to love themselves and their chidren because in loving their children, they are loving themselves. Let’s face it, these peope love their chidren because they are a part of them. You will never hear them say that they love all chidren.
It also bothers me immensely when a person’s partner dies and people continously remind them that they still have their children and/or grandchildren to live for. I guess what they are saying is, “if you don’t have children or grandchildren, you have nothing to live for.” I could go on and on, as I am sure most of you can, however, it ony serves to make me feel annoyed.