By Kathleen Guthrie Woods
When I was 43, I trained for and completed my first triathlon. A good friend earned her black belt at 47. A gal I know picked up a paintbrush for the first time after retiring from a decades-long career and became a successful landscape artist in her 70s. Another brave friend and her classmates, representing several decades, showed a gathering of a few hundred guests how real women (with curves) dance traditional hula.
I think our youth-obsessed society is under the misconception that courage is the domain of people under 30. They party, they experiment, they go on reality TV shows. But I disagree. I think real daring rears its beautiful head around the age of 39. I see it in so many of my friends, as they finally pursue long-held dreams or take new risks, whether it be diving out of a plane or going back to school and changing careers. I think it’s a combination of finally letting go of caring what other people think about us, along with renewed desire to try new things and a dash of fatalism—life is too short, let’s do this now!
I also believe we childfree women have a huge advantage. We don’t have to worry about what will happen to the kids if we end up in a cast and pretty much useless for 6 weeks. We don’t worry about embarrassing our teenagers. We have time on our hands and money not earmarked for someone else’s college education.
If you’re looking for inspiration, read Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love or Julia Child’s My Life in France, both memoirs of childfree women who took big chances and dramatically reinvented their lives while their peers were shopping for strollers. Or watch Under the Tuscan Sun, Julie & Julia (based in part on Child’s book), or Last Holiday starring Queen Latifah for more stories about childfree women who dedicate their free time and passion to creating beautiful homes, beautiful foods, and beautiful lives.
Get creative, follow your bliss, explore what makes you curious, discover the blessings of a childfree life. This week, I have three words for you: Go For It!
Kathleen Guthrie Woods is mostly at peace with her childfree life. Recently she’s been keeping her eyes and heart open to new experiences that might lead to a fulfilling Plan B. For starters, she’s learning how to run longer distances (and actually enjoy it) and grow edible plants (that actually taste good).
Thank you so much for this inspiring article. I agree with you life is too short, let’s do this now! Thanks for giving a Mantra Go For It!
Thank you. That is a beautiful, happy thing to think about going into the weekend. What have I shied away from trying? What idea did I dismiss as too daring? What is my next chapter? Thank you for the reminder to not just dream but to sign up!
I have just completed a course in beginners welsh and I am 40 and have just sat the exam, gave it my best and the results will be sent out in August so I will put it out of my mind for now and wait until august comes round!
I am currently job hunting and keep coming up against the more experience excuse when I hear back from interviews and it’s frustrating as there’s nothing I can do about that so its a matter of keeping on trying and one day I will be in the right place at the right time and receive that phone call telling me I am hired! Of course the naysayers have told me to stay where I am and my response to them is concentrate on your own life and mind your own business! I pity them as they just sit there with their sad miserable faces never happy unless they are making someone else miserable and spoiling things for them!
I still have hope to work as a teacher assistant in a kindergarten ! And I am also working on setting a group for women who have never been able to conceive to share our stories, pray, or just gather together.. still working on that.
Regarding the money… well, it has been hard so not much money left in my hands…
That’s a reality for some single women or couples pursuing fertility treatments…I believe.
Praying for all of us !
Love this! thanks for the recommendations
Uplifting post – thanks, as always 🙂 Hugs to all xx
I went for it yesterday! After five years of not being happy at work, I resigned.
The first thing that happened is that my partner got so mad that he left, I don’t know where to.
Now I don’t know what will happen, I have no new job, so will have to keep looking for jobs to apply to.
Oh my goodness. That’s a lot of change in a short period! I wish you all the best in finding a new job, and you know what, if your partner can’t support you at this time that says a lot about him. I hope the changes you make lead to greater happiness!
Thank you Amelia!!
I didn’t check out all your examples yet, though I watched Julie+Julia.
My biggest gripe with this kind of thinking is that it is all much, much easier for women who have a husband backing them up financially. Even with women claiming to “have their own career” or “being an entrepreneur in their own right” or whatever it is often the case that there is a husband financing her, or at least, covering the financial risk.
If I burned all the bridges and went on a world tour to find enlightenement, or went back to university full time, I would be completely broke within 6 months, a year at the most, and forced to let go of the dream and go back to work – in case anyone wants to hire a 45-year-old, if not, I would have to go on unemployment and later social security money.
If I decided to work in a badly paid job “just to get by” while “following my dreams” , if I do this for too long, it means I will be poor in my old age, because my pension will dramatically suffer if I drop out of the career I am in now.
I tried to change careers 2 years ago, aged 43, and even though I am well qualified and experienced, it was very hard to find a job and not at all possible to just “follow my dream and change careers”. I managed to find work now which is building on my professional experience so far and allowing me to develop.
But all this “Just do what you always wanted to” for many women is only easy, because they never had to carry the full financial risk. I am not saying women do not exist who take a risk and end up succesful. Just that many of these seemingly role-model people actually are only role models when you are with a partner who provides financial security.
Infertilty led to me being single and most of these role models just make me realize once again what is out of reach for me. Please consider this.
Love this post!