By Lisa Manterfield
If you’ve dealt with infertility, odds are you’ve had experience with the fertility industry. You’ve also probably come to realize that the glossy brochures and promises of miracle babies are only a small part of the whole story.
My Story
I had my first experience with a fertility clinic about a year after we started trying to conceive. Without ordering any kind of tests to root out the cause of our fertility issues, this particular doctor tried to shunt us into a series of invasive and expensive IVF treatments. Only later, when we finally found our way to a more ethical doctor, who conducted a string of tests to get an accurate diagnosis, did we learn that IVF would not have been an appropriate course of treatment for my condition. I can only imagine the heartbreak we would have endured—not to mention the tens of thousands of dollars and unnecessary hormone shots—had we blithely gone along with the first doctor’s scheme.
I don’t use the word “scheme” lightly in this case. Looking back, I do not feel that this man was practicing medicine. He was running a highly profitable business and picking up desperate clients at their most vulnerable. Lest anyone think I’m being paranoid (and I doubt many on this site would) this clinic is now under investigation for unethical practices. I’m only glad we crossed paths while I was still “hopeful” and hadn’t progressed to “obsessed”, and we still had the wherewithal to sniff out a rat and run. I am sure that hundreds, if not thousands, of couples were not so lucky. Hopefully this man will be brought to account soon.
That’s my story and I know that many of you have similar stories of slick marketing and misleading statistics. For most of us here, IVF and its related treatments, do not hold the secret elixir to motherhood. And yet, it’s still perceived as the surefire way for the infertile to make their dreams come true.
The Truth About IVF
Now, my dear friend Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos is working to rectify this misinformation. You probably already know Pamela from her website, Silent Sorority, and her book of the same title. Pamela has just launched a new project and she needs your help.
Pamela is on a mission to unmask the truth about IVF and the fertility industry, and to provide a reliable resource for people considering fertility treatments. The site will provide studies and accurate statistics, along with real stories of people who have undergone treatment. And that’s where you come in.
If you’ve undergone IVF and would like to share your story and experience with Pamela and her team, please take a look at her new website, ReproTechTruths. You can contact her there or email her directly at info [at] reprotechtruths [dot] org.
I hope you’ll help contribute to this important conversation.
Many, many thanks, Lisa, to you and your readers for your support and for sharing this initiative. The early essays are already having an impact. What a gift to to be in a position to help others with the knowledge and insights we’ve all gained. xo
I was dumb enough to think when I started IVF to think it automatically meant baby. Even the clinic gave me positivity telling me I was young and healthy and the clinic had all these success baby photos up. Then my first IVF failed, they made it seem like not a big deal, just needed a slight med change up. The next 2 IVF’s I got a positive test, but had losses. When I had to save money for another cycle, they tried to get me to keep doing IUI’s even though that was never successful because my insurance covered unlimited IUI’s. I saw then that they were just money hungry.
I really hate how the baby photos are plastered everywhere in those offices. Yes, I know they’re trying to sell you on their services, but do they know how deeply it affects those that IVF and other treatments hasn’t worked for? They probably have just as many women, if not more, coming in with unsuccessful stories than those with success stories.
I’m glad to hear of this project. It’s amazing how many people I encounter who think that IVF is always the next step in all of this, no thanks to the media and to highlighting only the success stories.
In trying to decide whether or not we would pursue IVF (after age 40), I tried so hard to find stats on it, and ended up deciding that there was not enough information out there for me to concretely say that I wanted to risk the amount of money and sanity it may take to possibly end up not having a child at the end of it all. I know that the stats are much worse for those after 40. I also figured that if I were to ask the fertility specialist for stats, they may not give me a truly unbiased look at their successes vs. failures. I never fully trusted them from the start knowing how absolutely unpredictable this process really seems to be and knowing how much money they make off of people’s situations.
I know there are success stories, but there are a lot of stories of disappointment as well. I’ve already been through enough in this journey, and I just cannot endure any more disappointment. This is why we did not pursue IVF. It is a very personal choice and I don’t judge anyone who does try it, I just could not fully wrap my brain around the possible risk it may entail.
The lack of compassion of my Reproductive Endocrinologist was so stunningly absent that we chose not to proceed with IVF. Is it wrong to hope that karma will catch up with him someday? Oh that’s right, I forgot: LIFE IS NOT FAIR.
I am so grateful that real conversations about IVF are starting to take place. My husband and I considered going this route, but we ultimately decided it was not for us. We did go through 7 rounds of IUI, however, and all of them failed. After 10 years of trying, we decided to embrace our infertility and enjoy our lives as pet parents and as an aunt and an uncle. Infertility struggles are so difficult… It is comforting to find others who understand the heartache that it causes.
Hi all, thank you very much for bringing out truth about this topic. My husband and I once considered doing IVF but did not proceed .. I went for one IUI which failed .. prior to this one IUI .. they had shot me up with injections and clomid then had the audacity to cancel the previous cycle because i over responded to the meds .. both times the injections gave me severe flu like symptoms and when i told the office, they acted like they never heard that before .. they treated me like a lab rat and cash cow. I took a 2 month break from my disappointment of seeing the failed results, when i went back to the clinic, I requested the next cycle to be on clomid only because i over respond with clomid& injections together .. and they insisted on continuing with that disregarding everything i told them (because clomid alone will not produce optimum results) I was ok with this but he kept insisting. The doctor then suggested I do ANOTHER ultrasound of my tubes (when i just went about a year ago) and pushed me to go for IVF .. i got so fed up that i cancelled everything and stopped going to them .. i no longer want to deal with any fertility clinics because of all the stress it causes not to mention taking out so much of your day to go for follicle monitoring and blood work .. and biggest waste of money and risk.
I’m so sorry that you had to go through all of that, Irene! I remember being on Lupron (after my endo surgery) and crying because I did not want to go take another shot. I felt so horrible. My sweet hubby convinced me to take the one last shot so we’d have the best chance of getting pregnant after we started trying again. Seven failed IUIs and ten years into our journey, we decided to just embrace our infertility and live our lives. Now, we try very hard not to put any unnatural hormones in our bodies. I’ve had enough of that!
Our diagnosis was unexplained infertility. Instead of trying to figure out the underlying causes, the only option they proposed was IVF with donor eggs. No mention of the risks to egg donors or to me. No mention of how grueling it was. It just felt like a risky money grab and the bedside manner of the doctor was just so arrogant and awful. We couldn’t go through with it for financial reasons but the deciding factor to not proceed was how we were treated.