I’ve had to take a break from the news and social media recently. It seems as if nothing good is happening in the world. As if all the terror attacks, politics, natural disasters, and deadly diseases weren’t enough, I find story after story that prompted this week’s topic:
People who shouldn’t be allowed to have kids
It’s Whiny Wednesday. What’s making you furious this week?
I recently took my elderly Mom to a doctor appointment and saw 2 teenage mothers walking towards the building. BOTH were smoking and holding the hands of each of their 2 adorable toddlers. Infuriating.
We recently had a mother locally that left her 15 month old alone in the car while she went shopping in Target. Makes me so angry that someone that does something like that can have kids, while so many people who’d make amazing parents can’t.
While I wont say They shouldnt have children, instead I would say it is “bad parenting” or needing lessons on parenting.
I always look at it this way, maybe they have not had a Mother in their life to give them an example. Maybe they have not had the best education available. We never know the reason behind the ignorance.
While the two posts above is infurating how many of us would ask “Do you know what you are doing to your child?”
Or “Can I watch your child while shopping”
With all that said sometimes I even look at the “good” parenting and can tell you things I would do differently
Some children need the woodshed instead of just a time out corner,
the 21 year old down the street who has no job, no incentive, does not go to school just plays computer games all day.
It is easy for me to say what I would do differently, but I also have been known to say “Can I help you with that?”
No one does not deserve a child just a little guidance in how to raise them.
Nita, you are very empathetic and compassionate. Thank you for reminding us that others may need help or guidance. It is easy to judge, but we don’t know everything going on in others’ lives. I’ll try to remember this before looking negatively at them.
You are right, Nita. I hope to be more empathetic towards clueless parents. However, there are so many cruel and or abusive parents I see every day (such as on the subway) it’s difficult not to feel outrage as well as bitterness that they have children and I do not.
You’re right it is so hard to see them .. but i will keep that in mind too .. i guess it’s just my bitterness of being childless not by choice
Some days are easier than others. There are times when I’m so angry and other times, I have a softer heart. We all just have to do the best we can. At least we have each other to talk to!
I think most of us are aware of and have some empathy for the parent disasters of the world. But we are also grappling with the fact that we live in a world where people whose parenting is one big foul get to have child after child and so many of us who would have done a fine job don’t get to have even one. This sense of injustice is unsettling to the core takes years to fathom, and it’s perfectly ok to be enraged by it. It’s not OR, it’s AND – we humans are capable of being sensitive to others and disgruntled at the same time.
Also, I wonder, especially speaking as someone who purposefully did not try to become a parent until I was darned ready to be a good one – how many of the parents we might offer help or assistance to would in turn reach out to support and accept us in our childlessness? I’ve already got more than enough on my plate what with grieving, mourning, healing and resurrecting in the face of that which I didn’t choose.
I love your wisdom. No parent is perfect even the ‘good ones’ and as a person who can’t become a parent it is so easy to feel anger towards those that display the obvious inadequacies. It takes time to remind myself when those thoughts enter my head that tired, harassed and with other things going on in my life, I too may have failed to be a perfect parent. It doesn’t stop me having those feelings of anger towards those who don’t consider or display the best behaviours towards their children.
I’m so sick of seeing celebrities being wreckless with their lives and disregarding the well-being of their child’s lives. recently i see a celebrity couple the husband cheated on his wife cought with multiple women, the couple has a toddler daughter .. he finds out they are expecting their 2nd child! but he doesn’t stop his activities and goes about like he doesn’t care or has any value of the life that is about to be brought into this world .. just disgusted and i think i need a break from social media as well .. tired of it all .. here i am on the other hand .. no children .. striving to have 1.
I am thinking about those babies born from mothers addicted to drugs. Those kids have the abstinence syndrome, they remain in the hospital and sometimes their own mothers don’t visit them.
I keep on praying for all of us.
We just dodged a major bullet here in a South Florida… Stayed at my brother’s place with 4 octogenarians, 7 adults and a seven year old, a cat and a dog (both around 10 months old). We love the 7 year old, but it was intense… Not sure how many times I heard “I’m bored”… A LOT of whining and temper tantrums…
IrisD,
Glad you survived both the hurricane and the family!
Lisa
For me. Its just those women who have abortion, after abortion, after abortion. These women are allowed to pick and choose what child lives and what one doesn’t.
I knew this girl who bragged about her 6, consecutive abortions. She went on to say.. ” If I get pregnant again.. I’m just gone have this one because. I’ve been in that clinic too much this year. I guess I’m supose to have a baby, if I keep getting pregnant back to back.”
Un freaking believable..
How bout use protection instead of killing precious gifts.
My God its unfair. After all these abortions. They still continue getting pregnant, without complications. They are spared the pain of infertility or health issues.
They have full authority over their reproductive system. While mine is shackled down, with the death grip. I’ll never know the beauty of that feeling. The freedom of having a baby whenever I choose. Ughh.
The judgement in many of the comments is overwhelming in itself
Any of us could, with all the stress thats involved, for even a second, be those parents deemed not worthy. Theres so so so many frustrating things about kids, at every stage…sometimes in my most frustrated moments with a stepkid i wonder how parents dont go completely insane
I think this is a safe supportive place where we can vent safely and be judgey without being judged for it though. We need to be able to do that here.
You are right, Kath. There aren’t many places where childless women can vent anger and frustration without being judged. I’m glad this is a safe place to do that.