A TIME magazine cover story awhile ago, “The Childfree Life,” came with an image of an attractive (and color-coordinated) couple lounging on a tropical, white sand beach, seemingly without a care in the world, resplendent in their designer sunglasses. That image prompted this week’s Whiny Wednesday topic:
The assumption that if you don’t have kids you have money to burn
Whine away, my friends.
My mom is the worst at this. And she is the worst at making expensive plans even though she doesn’t have the money to do it. She thinks that I can just pick up the slack…or anyone else in the family for that matter.
We do have a little extra money and we save that extra to go do fun trips and have an emergency fund (which we tapped into for health care this year).
But we are not swimming in money like Scrooge McDuck.
Hi !!! My ex-husband’s favorite saying: Don’t assume, don’t guess… and I have to admit he was right.
I don’t have money to burn, I am my sole provider and always helped by the grace of God.
Besides that, people assume I have all the time in the world, all the money and all the energy just for them.
Praying for all of us!
How about the expectation to always get the best (and by best we know they mean more expensive) gifts from us, since hey, “you can afford it” or “you should be generous if you can”, that goes especially at kids parties, parents assume we will be “extra generous” because a) we “can” and b) “what other kids will we spoil” (which is a whole other topic..)
My family (both mine and in-laws) tend to expect my hubby and I to be able to spend on anything they think is ok, be it trips, dinners, whatever.When we say no to some plan, they sometimes get mad and say things like “you guys are selfish, you just don’t want to spend on your family”. Its so annoying.
Like Kara, we do have a little extra since we both have good jobs, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have other plans. And ultimately, I’m gonna spend on whatever I want to!
Crazy to think that people think this way! If people only knew the cost of years of infertility procedures the “‘money to burn” perception would disappear pretty quickly!
Try not to take comments to personally…. their ignorance truly comes from a lack of knowledge!
Hah! All my brothers-in-law have spent the last ten years overseas earning big money. We have stayed to care for the aging in-laws. Both of us are struggling to find contract work – full-time work is out of the question in our mid-late 50s now – in our current location. And at the moment we don’t have any contracts, and can’t afford to retire. But BIL 2 has just retired (at 56) to another country, and says he has responsibilities in a second country (where his adult children are working/studying – they are excessively protective and don’t treat them as adults), but of course leaves his responsibilities to his parents to us. Argh!
Oh, I have definitely heard this one!! (And like Kara, my own mother is one of the worst culprits.) We made the conscious decision, after we realized that the kids weren’t going to materialize, to start socking away our money with the goal of early retirement. I’m glad we did, because we both lost our jobs a few years ago, in our mid-50s — but because we had some savings, and good pension plans, we’re doing OK. We’re not spending our winters in Tahiti or anything like that, but we’re managing. I know some (a lot?) of our friends & relatives our age (who are still working, and paying for their kids’ college tuition, weddings, and downpayments on houses) are jealous. But you know what? — I’ve decided I’m not making any apologies. Yes, we our savings accounts are probably bigger than theirs, because we didn’t have kids — but it’s also because we consciously saved our money instead of buying a bigger house or fancier car or taking annual trips to Mexico & Europe. I feel like there have to be SOME perqs to life without children… being able to retire early is definitely one of mine. 😉
Yes I’m so tired of our families think we’re millionaires and can give them money for everything. Yes we both work hard and save to go on trips because I figure if I can’t have kids I might as well see the world. Not to sound selfish but we work hard and would like to enjoy the extra money we put aside, not be the bankroll for the family.
I agree with Jaidy when she says family (particularly my in-laws) expect us to pay and Marylou when we have wasted years of infertility treatments that have failed .. even though we both have jobs .. my husband is 1 son out of 3 .. his older brother and younger brother have disabilities .. his father for whatever reason has given up on work and his mom is a housewife because of her physical health worsening .. anyway i believe my father in law is quite selfish in thinking my husband has all the moeny in the world to finance all 4 people .. not to mention his sister just filed divorce from her deadbeat husband .. anyway now she is recovering her savings but .. it just is not fair to expect us to pay for everything .. all i can do is pray