This hot-button whine was sent in from one of our readers.
When you read an interview of some celebrity or hear someone say:
“I never knew what love was until I had a child.”
So…is she saying that because I’m childless I’m not capable or “real” love or that I will be denied the experience of the highest expression of love?
Whether this makes your blood boil or cuts you to the core, whine away, sisters!
And if you have another great whine you need to get off your chest this week, here’s the place to let it rip.
Can you imagine the outrage if this was reversed. “I never knew loss until I knew I would never have children.” Just as the loss of a parent, child, sibling, friend is a loss so is the love we feel for these people.
Beautifully put. I never thought of that. You are spot on Cariade.
I know I will never feel the love of my own child but my dogs and cats love me more than most humans can love and I take comfort in their love everyday. Like they say there is more room in a broken heart for love to fill it.
I truely think Social Media can become both a good thing and a bad thing especially when people dont think whom they might hurt before posting.
Who is to say what love is?
Some people have lost parents at a young age and are still capable of loving others, Love is not how you grew up, what you have accumulated or what was taught, Love is what is inside your heart and there are different types of love,
a love for a parent is completely different from a love for a spouse, which is completely different that the love for a friend or a child or a pet
Posting things like this just shows their ignorance. I have also seen “I didnt know love until I became a Grandma”
Really? Like I said they are just ignorant about love alltogether
I think they really don’t get it. They are so happy and euphoric with being parent that is their focus. I was reading the post for Mother’s Day, and it got me thinking. About where I am at, and making a plan about the day. I feel anxious and anticipating it, like gearing up for something. My mom is alive , but our relationship is complicated. My thoughts go to the little baby boy we had and adopted but the biological parents changed their minds and we chose / had to return him after consulting with knowledgeable people on this topic. We actually had to deliver hi. To the attorneys office, it was the absolute worst . I know we can not undo the past, and Tunis is part of my history but around his birthday and mother’s day really Tear this wound open. In a bug way. Thank goodness for all of you who do understand and get it. Wishing you all a huge cyber hug during this time which helps mark our growth and challenges us.
A similar situation is when something terrible or scary happens to children, and someone says “As a parent, I am at what happened.” Like someone who doesn’t have children wouldn’t (or couldn’t) be equally upset about it.
My whine is just the unfairness of life. It been an epidemic of pregnant celebrities and non celebrities lately. I was on Instagram and saw a celebrity who just gave birth to her 2nd child. There was a pic of her holding her baby in hospital bed, the caption was about how blessed they were.. Then the father dressed in delivery room clothes, with tears in his eyes.
I lost it in that moment it hit me hard, just how unfair life truly is. I questioned God and why he denied me that joy, and accomplishment in life. I learned some of us don’t get good back to us, when we’ve endured loss. And I say this with a heart full of grief as tears falls. I just loss my dear father. My love I can say I never felt unconditional love until my father. He never gave me anything but encouragement and support.
Here comes mother’s day I havn’t talked with mother in almost 2 weeks. Our last conversation left me feeling upset and inadequate as usual. I’m done with the criticizing and judgements from her. Everytime she says something negative about me, it just makes me miss my father. ..tears.Because he would never bash me for no reason. “It’s not fair” is not a cliche its the truth.
I saw those same posts and felt the same way. I’ve accepted that this is the current state of society – if you are single and/or childless, then your life is deemed insignificant and you have no right to express and opinion about anything related to either without being told that there’s no way you could understand.
You are are welcome. I’m glad it was helpful.
When I read “never knew love before child” I always just think how awful these people’s lives are if THAT is the first time they know love. They never knew love? they had none from their own parents growing up?! how do they feel about the person they HAD the child with?! Do they really mean they never FELT love, either to get it or give it? What a horrible horrible existence! I am so glad that I have felt SO MUCH love in my life – that I have given, that I have received. I just think, those poor, por people who didn’t know love.
I also feel this way about “You don’t know tired until you have children.” WHAT?! Have you never WORKED in your life before?! Have you never been sick?!
nope. hyperbole. either I don’t believe them, or I pity them.
Yes, I know love..the love of Jesus who died on the cross. For those who believe there’s no greater love than that ! So…I know what love is.
Amen