Life Without Baby

filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

Comments

  1. This doesn’t bother me. Sure they have kids and they go to cheer competitions and soccer games and football games and band competitions and what ever else the child wants to do.

    When they ask me what I’ve been doing since graduation, 19 years ago, I get to say I’ve been traveling. I go on vacation twice a year. I’ve been to Europe a few times. I’ve been to almost all the major Caribbean Islands. I’ve been to 2/3 of the USA states. I go on fabulous cruises for 10-16 days at a time. I go to all inclusive, no kids allowed resorts. I’ve lived for me.

  2. This doesn’t bother me as much as well. I guess this gives me hope that this journey gets better with time. I am at the end of my struggles with infertility after trying to get pregnant for 10 years. I am however still struggling with other aspects of infertility. I am having trouble picturing my life without kids as it has now become more of a reality for me compared to when I was still trying to get pregnant. When you are in the middle of it, you still have hope. Now I am left with dealing with the reality of it and how it is actually impacting my life. This is hard. I am looking for ways to help me make this transition. On top of that my husband and I have just moved to Vancouver. Although this is exciting, I don’t have family or friends around. Any of you out there in this great city want to meet up let me know. I am glad I found this blog and will continue to follow it and post when I can.
    Isabel

  3. I wish I could tell those old friends the places I have been all those years that passed. Unfortunately, the only thing that kept me busy was my job, no kids whatsoever. I would think of an excuse to go and say goodbye or pretending I would be late for something the moment the topic of children brought out. It’s just sad.

    And my heart is aching at this moment for another pregnancy announcement.

    :(((

  4. I know the majority of you are alot younger than me…trust me it gets better
    by the time you get into your 60s (45 yrs out of High School) and you meet old friends
    if they look surprised its because they are not surprised because of your lack of children but because you are still alive

    So many I went to High School with have lost loved ones…parents, spouses, children
    Dealing with the losses tend to make your compassion even more
    Save your money for retirement because since my husband is gone I travel and enjoy what time I have left because I am finding out you never know how long that will be

    • I turned 50 last year and this is starting to happen for me. A lot of my high school friends were the youngest in their families whereas I am the oldest, so my parents are a good 10 years younger. The bigger shock for me is the news of serious illness/death of my peers. You have a picture in your mind of a person you last saw as a young adult and the news of cancer, stroke, liver failure. Just kind of mind blowing…

  5. I work in a hospital and it is attached to a womens hospital.

    Just ran into another nurse who started started working here when i started.

    She was waddling out of the womens hospital.

    I pretended not to see her and now i have that wretched ache and am hiding in the bathroom šŸ™

  6. Unfortunately, for me this is something I have to deal with. I’m in my early 30s. And uber single. I honestly believe in my heart I will remain that way. Its a sad reality that can’t be denied. So I am the only one who is childless out of my past friends. I hate running in to them cause before a hug or hello. Its “do you have kids yet, did u get pregnant, “I thought you’de have a baby by now” (yes. A so called friend said that. And it cut so deep That I cried while explaining I was not meant for kids. She tried to clear it up but the damage was done. For this reason I am distant and excluded, from them. And I hate it because if I had my baby theyd be in my life. I dont git in anywhere my 30s everybody is on baby #4 by that age. Its just One of those pains that can’t be eased with anything.

    I heard from my brother that my friends cousin whom works with him. Asked how I was doing. I’m sure my friend asked her to ask him did I have kids. Uggh it hurt worst because he denied she asked about kids” But I’m positive she did. He just knew it was gonna upset me so he said she didn’t ask.

    I’m sorry but this is extremely upsetting having to go through this. It’s not fair that I’m excluded frim having a baby. And U have to deal with the judgement, negativity and criticism for not having one. When its not my fault but no excuse is valid enough for them.

    Childless men don’t have to go thru this type of pain. I wish I was born a male. Because my being a female is useless. ***tears fall

  7. Ugh, it sucks so bad! Being in my early 30s it’s obvious at this point that “something’s wrong”. We’re all married, done with school, settled in careers so I try my hardest to focus on the ‘sameness’ and to ignore their roundness šŸ™

  8. All of you in your 30s ….it doesn’t mean it”s too late all. People in europe are only starting to find partners and settle. I have different circumstances and i am late 40s. I tried ivf. Didn’t work. Will probably try again. I have a little hope despite the risks. It does hurt but life is unfair. That’s it. Not much you can do except to let it affect you so much that you end up dysfunctional. Hang onto your health and do your best. X