Life Without Baby

filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

Whiny Wednesday: Baby Names You Never Got to Use

This week’s Whiny Wednesday topic is a tough one.

Baby names you never got to use

As always, you’re free to vent on your own topic, too.

Comments

  1. I’ve never told anyone I know the baby names I wanted to use. It would break me if someone used one of those names for their baby knowing they were ‘my’ names. I have two friends who have inadvertently done it. One spells her daughter’s name differently to how I would have spelled it so I can write birthday and Christmas cards quite easily but saying it out loud catches me out sometimes. When she told me what she was going to call her, I cried. I remember it as it was my partner’s birthday and I had to keep the pain to myself.

    Actually, I submitted a couple of the names to a project last year. I think it was for World Childless Week? They were read out along with hundreds of other unused names. It was very emotional to hear them being said out loud by someone else.

  2. I’ve never told anyone the names I would have given my children, and I don’t plan to either. I think that sharing the story of my infertility is quite enough, and I’m not willing to share anything more than that. I need to keep some of that story for myself. I also don’t need people who know those names then using them on their own easily conceived liddle kiddies. It would feel disrespectful and hurtful if they knew and did it anyway.

    When I must refer to my children by name, I call the one I miscarried “Might Have Been” and the one I was never able to conceive after that miscarriage “Never Was.” I suppose those could be considered their “public” names.

    I think being able to give another human being his or her name is one of the greatest privileges ever, and it’s hard when I think a parent isn’t taking it seriously or appreciating being able to give someone his or her name. Some of the names they think of to saddle a child with for life…..

    I would have loved to have had the privilege of giving the gift of a name, and the names I chose were ones of strength and dignity, names that included those of much-loved family members I wanted to honor. Not being able to do so is yet another loss to add to the others that come with infertility, and so few people can understand that.

  3. Alessandro because it runs in the family…I guess somebody else in the family will use it…

  4. David would be my son’s name. A classic same as his father. I’ve never found a name for my daughter…. only that I know she is loved.

  5. My son would be David. Like his father. A classic, it would have suited him perfectly. I never have given my daughter a name…. I just know she is here with me in spirit. Both are everyday.

  6. I have often thought about my never used kid’s name. I had it all planned. We wanted two. While I always would have preferred boys, I’d love girls too. I always dreamed of having twins. Names I picked were Obadiah James, Josiah Timothy, Serenity Ruth, and Anna Michelle.
    It’s painful to think I will never be able to use them…

  7. Nora Elizabeth and Gregory Paul…. ugh this makes me sad to see them written out. I grieve not having my Nora (would have been named in honor of my grandmother, Norma, and my deceased father-in-law, Norman). No one but my husband knows these names, created back in our younger days when children seemed inevitable.