Life Without Baby

filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

Finally Being Heard

220px-JenniferAnistonFeb09I was so pleased to read this article by Anne Kingston in Maclean’s.

Anne contacted me last week to say she was writing an article about stereotypes surrounding single women without children, but after interviewing some of the women featured in her article, she decided to reframe the piece. What resulted is a powerful conversation about how women without children are no longer accepting being a silent minority.

Some of my favorite women are featured in this piece and what struck me most is the calmness and intelligence with which they speak. These are certainly not women being brushed into a corner and pitied.

I know that all have us have felt silenced and dismissed at some point because we don’t have children, but I really do believe this is beginning to shift, and with more conversation will come more understanding. We just have to keep insisting on being heard.

You can read the full article here.

Ten Childfree Celebrities

As a pleasant antidote to the constant celebrity baby bump bonanza, I thought I’d share these ten childfree celebrities and their thoughts on parenthood. Yaay for them!

 

Now, I’m just waiting for the “Top Ten Childfree-Not-By-Choice Celebrities,” then I’ll know we’re making progress.

 

Happy Friday, Everyone!

 

You Waited Too Long: The Jennifer Aniston Syndrome

“You waited too long!”

Any of you heard that comment before? Well now it has a name: The Jennifer Aniston Syndrome.

According to this article on Babble, poor old Jennifer Aniston was just another of the “career-driven women [who] realize too late that it’s not always easy to get pregnant after 35.”

Hear that funny noise? That’s my blood boiling.

When I was 18 and head-over-heels in love for the first time, a teacher told my boyfriend and me that 18 was the height of a woman’s fertility and the perfect time to start a family. Yes, I am serious. This was during a conversation about our plans to go away to college.

Fortunately I didn’t listen to him, but maybe I should, because, by the time I was ready for a family, I was 34 and my eggs had other plans.

So what was I doing for all those years between 18 and 34? Striding my way to the top of the corporate ladder? Smashing glass ceilings? Taking the world by storm? No! I was looking for a man!

Because at 18 I could have married my college sweetheart and had his babies (I think.) He was a nice guy, but I know myself well enough to know that I would not have been happy in that life and would most likely have blown up somewhere in my mid-20’s and hurt all concerned. I know that because it’s exactly what happened with the next serious relationship (but without the babies, thankfully.) And the candidate after that didn’t want kids at all. I was 32 when I finally found Mr. Fabulous and 34 when we swung our family plans into action.

So did I wait too long to have kids? Yes!!! Of course I did! But not because I was trying to conquer the world. I waited too long because I know that motherhood is a serious and lifelong responsibility and I didn’t want to pump out babies with the first man that jiggled his pheromones in my direction.

Call me old-fashioned, or call me selfish, but don’t call me a career-driven woman who just waited too long.