Life Without Baby

filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

Whiny Wednesday: Living After Infertility

During August, as I enjoy some travel time, I’m sharing some of my favorite and your favorite posts from the past year. I’ll look forward to seeing you again in September. ~Lisa

Today’s post was originally run on 3/28/12

Whiny_WednesdayI subscribe to Resolve’s “Living After Infertility Resolution” Support Community. Or at least I used to until yesterday, when I removed myself from the mailing list.

Apparently, the only viable “resolution” for infertility is pregnancy and the “support” forums are filled with questions about the best strollers for twins and complaints about weight gain at 24 weeks. When I dug back into the archives I found exactly THREE posts from people trying to move on with a childfree life.

I avoid using profanity in a public forum, but not in the comfort of my own home, so when I tell you I said, “Forget it!” you can fill in your own blank for what I really said.

I think that Resolve does wonderful work in helping people deal with infertility, but for those of us who have run out of options or made the decision to get off the crazy train and get about the business of building a life without children, that support is non-existent. Unless a miracle baby happens, there is apparently no living after infertility.

Well, that’s not the case here, sisters. I am alive and well and swearing like a sailor to prove it. And when National Infertility Awareness Week comes around next month, you’d better believe I’m going to be out there saying, “Hey!!! What about us?”

It’s Whiny Wednesday, my wondering living friends. If you’ve got something to say, now’s the time. Just watch your language, if you don’t mind.

Whiny Wednesday: People Who Ought to Say Nothing

During August, as I enjoy some travel time, I’m sharing some of my favorite and your favorite posts from the past year. I’ll look forward to seeing you again in September. ~Lisa 

Today’s post was originally run on 4/4/12  

Whiny_WednesdayKathleen’s post about mistakes and well-intentioned people got me thinking about people who really ought to just mind their own business.

A few years ago, when I my glorious plans for motherhood were just beginning to come crashing down around my ears, Mr. Fab and I went wine tasting. As a rich, fruity cabernet was hitting my bloodstream and making my crappy world feel better, a woman (whose world was feeling a little too good) leaned over and said, “Should you be drinking?”

I was confused for a moment, until I realized she was peering at my belly. Admittedly, I’d put on a few stress pounds over the previous year, but I was beyond mortified that she’d mistaken my bloat for a pregnancy, especially considering that was the one thing I was truly aiming for.

I’d like to tell you that she realized her mistake immediately, but alas, she had to ask me twice – the second time for everyone around us to hear.

So, while I agree that most people are well-intentioned when they make a faux pas, in some cases, people just ought to keep their traps shut and mind their own damn business.

It’s Whiny Wednesday, ladies. Let ‘em fly.

Whiny Wednesday

Whiny_WednesdayI am rushing around stuffing things in a suitcase with one hand and trying to finish up all the work I really ought to do before I leave for England to visit my mum.

As I’ll be on a plane and hopefully asleep by the time you read this, I don’t have too much to whine about this week, but please feel free to whine on my behalf. It is Whiny Wednesday, after all.

Whiny Wednesday

Whiny_WednesdayLast week I went out for a short hike in my local park and decided I felt so good I would run a bit.

So I did.

And I fell.

Again.

Fortunately, this time I sustained only a knee scrape, sore hands, and a bruise.

Until I got up the next morning and realized that the impact of my fall had to go somewhere, and it had gone up my arms, into my shoulders and neck, down my back, and basically into every single muscle in my body.

Never have a felt every single day of my age (or even single ounce of my weight!)

It’s Whiny Wednesday. What are feeling sorry for yourself about today?

Whiny Wednesday

Whiny_WednesdayI love to receive pitches from guest bloggers, especially from regular LWB readers. I think there’s great value in sharing our stories and points-of-view on a topic that doesn’t get much “air time.”

I’ve included Writer’s Guideline” on the site, so that writers who aren’t familiar with the blog can understand what we’re all about here and offer up something appropriate.

So it drives me potty when I receive pitches like “8 foods to feed your child’s brain” and “Me time for busy moms.”

As a writer, I used to get annoyed when editors wouldn’t respond to my submissions. Now I realize that their inboxes are probably so full of inquiries from people sending out random and completely inappropriate pitches that they just delete the lot.

Anyway, it’s Whiny Wednesday. What’s bugging you today?

Whiny Wednesday

Whiny_WednesdayTomorrow is Independence Day here in the U.S.. This means fireworks, barbecues, family gatherings, and food.

As I’m lucky enough to live close to a beach that hosts a public fireworks display, this also means street closures, snarled traffic, drunks letting off fireworks late into the night, trash strewn all over the beach, the park, and my front lawn, and no parking within a four-block radius of my house for the entire four-day weekend.

There’s no wonder we usual get out of town!

It’s Whiny Wednesday. What’s on your mind this week?

Oh, and Happy Independence Day, too!

Whiny Wednesday

Whiny_WednesdayLast week, I bunked off work early and went to the beach. It was a beautiful afternoon with a cloudless June sky and a gentle breeze blowing off the water, and I realized how lucky I was to be able to be there. I had no one to collect from school and no baseball practice to shuttle to and from. Nobody was counting on me to provide nourishment or even junk food snacks. Nobody needed me to change a diaper or resolve a dispute over a remote control. No one was relying on me for anything, and right then, at that moment, I was glad for it.

So, let’s turn Whiny Wednesday upside down this week. Tell me: What are you grateful for today?

(And by the way, if your answer is “nothing” you’re welcome to come and whine anyway.)

Whiny Wednesday

Whiny_WednesdayMy whine today is that I am tired of being tired. I have a day clear of appointments today, which means I can settle down and write, take care of a client project, work on the website, and read a friend’s book proposal, but all I want to do is lay on the couch and sleep.

It’s on days like today that I am thankful I don’t have children to care for. You’ve seen those photos of the big sow, flopped on her side with a dozen piglets clamoring all over her. I’m afraid that if I had kids, that would be me.

Anyway, it’s Whiny Wednesday. If you have the energy, feel free to have a good gripe here today. Just don’t wake me up.

Whiny Wednesday

Whiny_WednesdaySummer’s here and, for us, that means bike rides at the beach.

As pleasant as that sounds, it’s often not as relaxing as it could be. Much time is spent dodging drunks, small children on tricycles, and wandering tourists. Mr. Fab and I have both taken tumbles because someone else wasn’t paying attention. I’ve had only minor scrapes and bruises, but Mr. Fab has a permanently separated shoulder to show for his adventures. I’ve seen bent handlebars, cracked helmets, and some nasty road rash out there over the years.

Which is why it drives me out of mind when I see parents carrying young children on bike seats with no helmets! Never mind that it’s against the law here in California, and never mind that they don’t think they’re going fast enough to get into an accident. At any speed, four feet is a long way for a soft skull to fall to hard concrete.

Would I have been a perfect parent? We’ll never know, but as my record is free of parental infractions, that gives me the right to whine about offenders.

As it is Whiny Wednesday, feel free to get your gripes off your chest here.

Whiny Wednesday: My Shower Invitation

Whiny_WednesdayAfter telling a friend recently that I haven’t had an invitation to a baby shower in years, guess what popped into my inbox last week?

But here’s the kicker: the invitation is from someone I don’t know who’s throwing a shower for someone else I don’t know, who happens to be expecting twins.

I scratched my head for a while wondering how to handle this. Should I point out I know neither the hostess nor the mother-to-be or should I just show up bearing gifts? (Okay, I was kidding about the latter.)

I guess this is the Universe’s strange idea of a practical joke, and for once, I’m actually laughing.

It’s Whiny Wednesday. What strange, ironic, or downright annoying things are going on in your Universe right now?