One of the earliest posts I wrote here was about the trend at the time in baby doll tops that, on me, looked like maternity wear. And I know I’ve written about the time I wore a lovely summer muumuu and some woman told me she thought I shouldn’t be drinking. I explained that I wasn’t pregnant, just fat!
A reader offered this Whiny Wednesday topic about shopping for new clothes. Her whine is:
“The need to go shopping for new clothes and trying to find something I feel good in vs. something I think screams ‘infertile and has a poor sense of style.’”
She may not have a great sense of style, but at least she has a great sense of humor.
It’s Whiny Wednesday. What can you laugh about this week?
Jeans and a t shirt….same wardrobe I’ve had since high school. But my shirts have gone from marching band shirts to vacation location shirts or bands I’ve seen.
They bring up great conversations….
Person: Have you ever *actually* been to Helsinki, Finnland?
Me: Yes just last month. Have you ever been there?
Person: Ummm…no…I haven’t been on vacation in years.
I’m a house wife…why dress up (other than for church)?
My whine today is about people thinking I’ve got to all the time in the world to sit around waiting on them to show up more than an hour after they said they would meet me!!
I work from home, so I’m with you on the “why dress up?” My go-to outfits are leggings and big, comfy shirts. 🙂
And I can’t stand it when people are late! BIG pet peeve of mine, as well!
I work from home as well, and my personal loungewear collection is nothing to scoff at. From the more modern pj’s and baggy knit soft tees to the vintage three-piece satin outfits, I’ve got all my bases covered. I’ve got one small section of my closet filled with jeans, jackets, blouses, and fancy dresses, the rest is loungewear.
I find that people also don’t respect my time. I understand people run late, but to not let me know because ‘I’m just at home’ is not considerate. It’s not like my time ceases to become important when I walk in my front door.
It also drives me insane when someone calls me and I don’t answer, they seem very annoyed because ‘I’m at home’ so why am I not answering the phone. I don’t think they understand that when you are at home all the time there is ‘down time’ and ‘work time’ and you’re not just sitting next to the phone waiting for it to ring.
I agree with you girls above. I also work from home so i opt for the comfiest clothes i could find. I like to dress up at weddings and special events .. wear bright lipstick (hot pink shade) that doesn’t scream “i’m a mom” just trying to look younger and more hip .. if i cant join being a mom, might as well go the opposite direction and look like a teen LOL .. instead of me looking like a wannabe mom. my ramble is over
I have digestive issues due to a chronic illness that cause my stomach to bloat up to 3 inches past it’s normal size (I’ve measured !) which makes me look 9 months pregnant much of the time. As a consequence I always look pregnant no matter what I wear. I haven’t yet been asked “when is it due? Is it a by or a girl?” But I’ve got a response ready “it’s tacos, the delivery will be sometime this afternoon”
LOL Love your response! My response is I’m just fat…thanks for asking. I like yours better! I’m going to start using that. 🙂
Rose, you have a great sense of humour – good for you.
But on the other hand, who in their right mind asks a woman that question? Unless they are obviously pregnant (7 months plus) – that’s a major faux pas IMO.
I’m in love with your response! Several years into our infertility battle, I decided to try and embrace my pudgy endometriosis belly. So, I started wearing more fitted clothes. Someone asked my friend if I was pregnant… Uh no! Not everyone has a super flat belly!
I recently had a similar experience in the paint chip section of the hardware store when I wondered which shade of green covered up painful memories and broken dreams the best.
We are giving a face-lift to our home. We moved here with all the dreams of starting a family, and now are moving on in accepting that it’s just going to be a home for the two of us. Our house has been in limbo right along with our life, and so it’s showing wear and tear along with the constant reminder of a life we aren’t going to have sitting in boxes in all those unused bedrooms. I’m a creative person, picking colours is supposed to be easy, instead, I found myself breaking down more than once because I couldn’t tell you who I was, let alone what kind of style I wanted my living room to have.
My rant today is that now that I’ve finally picked my colours, gathered items for this home decor overhaul, everyone is piping in with all their opinions. I’ve heard ‘You can’t do that’ about a dozen times, mostly coming from my peers with kids who need to incessantly point out that what I’m doing won’t work with young kids. More than once I’ve bluntly snapped that since I don’t have kids, it won’t be a problem. It just really annoys the crap out of me. “You can’t put a pond in it’s not safe for children”, “You shouldn’t paint that white, it’ll get fingerprints too easy”, “If you put that there it’s dangerous at that level”.
The thing is, Yes I can put a pond in. I don’t have young children running around that could fall in, I can take up my entire lawn with flowers and little pathways weaving between, no children need to run around on grass here. I can paint my wainscotting white, as there are no jam laden fingers to smear across the crisp white paint daily. I also can place my liquor in a delicate glass cabinet near the floor, without a lock, because again, there are no children living here. I’m not bound by the same ‘rules’ that they are, my house only needs to revolve around the adults who live here.
I’m in a similar situation .. we have a 3 bedroom house .. i use one room as a home office for me and the other (would have been a nursery) is a guest bedroom for my parents or whoever stays over .. i used to opt out of mirrored furniture or delicate decor .. NOW i say – bring on all the adulty precious furniture and glass decor there is! and keep my friend’s kids out of my house some how .. ugh lol
The ‘nursery’ still sits vacant at the moment aside from storage and boxes. It’s so small that it’s limited on uses, but I’m leaning towards a library or plant room.
I love the term ‘adulty decor’. That’s the best term for it. 🙂
What was to be the baby’s room is now part guess room, part library, and part tutoring room. This house was to be a starter home and is, for the forseable future, now our permanent home.
Kara, We are also in our starter home. We were supposed to be here a max of five years, and now it’s become our permanent home too. It’s a great little house, and we really don’t need anything more. It’s the smart choice to stay, but deep down I still wish we were selling and moving into that big family home.
I’m sorry some in your life are being difficult about the choices you are making for your home. I, for one, think they all sound amazing! My husband and I are also considering putting in a pond and an amazing liquor cabinet as part of our remodel. Plus, our upstairs bedroom will be shiplap painted white. So, you go for it! I think your house is going to be AWESOME! 🙂
Thank you, Brandi, I’m trying not to freak out on them as I know it’s really more of a case of complete blindness to our situation as opposed to trying to be a jerk (or at least that’s what I’m hoping) It still irks me to no end though.
I think it might also just be my age and stage of life. Everyone close to me either has young children or now young grandchildren. Plus the majority of people around them are parenting children too, their way of thinking is supported and mimicked back to them constantly. In their world everyone has young kids and or, needs to cater their life to the needs of young children. They probably walk into my place and see all the sharp edges and go into a panic. XD
Also: I love the idea of shiplap, I love shiplap.
🙂 Yes, people panic when they come into our home as well! After we are done with the remodel, I’m going to have a big party! And I’ll tell people that kids are welcome, but our house is NOT kid-proof as we don’t have any littles. Tons of sharp edges around here! Ha!
Ya one time a pregnant woman gave me that *knowing* look, so I’ve never worn an empire waist again.
Kind of embarrassing: recently I ripped up some maternity clothes that I’d bought in hopes of being pregnant. My home reflects my sadness and my feelings of being stuck. I admire all of you moving forward with your homes to be what’s best for you! On a side note, I’ve been reading some scholarship on the taboo subject of mothers who regret motherhood. I guess it’s a weak attempt to reassure myself that motherhood isn’t ideal either.
Hi ElleVee – I was stuck for a long time too – and my home reflected some of my sadness. It takes as long as it takes to move through grief…… Thinking of you. Would you share the reading on “mothers who regret motherhood” – I too find comfort in knowing that motherhood doesn’t bring everyone fulfillment and joy – we shouldn’t feel ashamed. If I hadn’t told myself daily these past 3 years that the reality of motherhood is tiring and relentless – I would not have been able to come into work. Thank you for sharing.
wow this is really the first time in the many years that I follow this website that I don’t und rstand or identify with the issue at all. Just what exactly would that be, ‘clothes that scream infertile’? Nothing comes to my mind. Could someone explain? I know about clothes that scream ‘mum’, and I have my own experiences with clothes that look pregnant when you’re simply bloated/overweight/have chosen a cut that doesn’t suit you well. But surely these are different problems? I guess your clothes can express feelings of sadness or depression, ok…. But clothes that make me ‘look infertile’? I don’t get it.
Elena, I don’t understand the question either. I get mom jeans, I get maternity clothes, but there are no clothes that scream ‘I’m infertile.’