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Whiny Wednesday: You’re Too Young for Menopause

June 12, 2019

Over the past couple of years I’ve been “enjoying” a journey through menopause. Yeah, it’s a hoot. All the symptoms of PMS, plus fuzzy head, weight gain, night sweats, the works.

I’ve been prescribed HRT and I’ve been reaching out to older friends for advice, because there’s a lot about this I don’t know. Most of my friends have gladly offered support, however one woman (a friend of a friend) looked at me and said, “Menopause? You’re too young for that.”

I assured her I was not, and left the conversation, but really, is that a helpful thing to say? Yes, I know I’m too young for menopause. Add it to the list of things my body’s given up before its time. And then ask me how I feel about the possibility the rest of me might be aging faster than it should too. Does this ever end?

As you may have guessed, it’s Whiny Wednesday. If you’re not yet hearing this about menopause, in what other ways have you been dismissed?

For more about the realities of dealing with menopause and infertility, please check out Mali’s excellent series on her No Kidding in NZ blog.

Filed Under: Childless Not By Choice, Family and Friends, Infertility and Loss, The Childfree Life: Issues and Attitudes, Whiny Wednesdays Tagged With: childless, early menopause, fb, friends, Infertility, insensitive, menopause, perimenopause

Whiny Wednesday: An Explanation

May 29, 2019


Whiny Wednesday has become such a favorite on the blog and I know that many of you look forward to the chance to have a good rant about what’s on your mind.

For those of you who are new to Life Without Baby or maybe not sure what this Whiny Wednesday thing is all about, I thought an brief explanation might be in order.

Whiny Wednesday came about because many of us felt we were going through our respective journeys alone and that our friends and family often didn’t understand how much we were hurting. Many readers said felt they felt they had to put on a brave face around other people and that the things they wanted to talk about sometimes felt like “whining.”

So, Whiny Wednesday was created as the place where, once a week, you can come and vent about whatever’s on your mind, especially the things you feel you can’t say in-person around others. Most weeks I post a topic for discussion, but the comments are always open for griping about whatever happens to be on your mind.

So, now you know what it’s all about, feel free the have a really good whine this week.

Filed Under: Childless Not By Choice, The Childfree Life: Issues and Attitudes, Whiny Wednesdays Tagged With: childfree, childless, fb, friends, grief, Infertility, support

Whiny Wednesday: Missing Out on Parenting Milestones

May 22, 2019

Graduation season is upon us and social media has been abuzz with snapshots of proud parents and their offspring. So it seems like a good time for this week’s Whiny Wednesday topic:

Feeling left out when friends and relatives celebrate parenting milestones.

As always, your other whines are always welcome.

Filed Under: Childless Not By Choice, Children, Family and Friends, The Childfree Life: Issues and Attitudes, Whiny Wednesdays Tagged With: child-free living, childfree, childfree-not-by-choice, childless, childless not by choice, children, Community, family, fb, friends, graduation, grandparents, holidays, jealousy, life without baby, loss, milestones, mother, Society, Whine, whiny wednesday

Whiny Wednesday: Mother’s Day Aftermath

May 15, 2019

I hope you made it through the past weekend relatively unscathed. So, do tell:

How did Mother’s Day go for you?

How did you handle it? How did it go? What went well? What didn’t? Let us know the good, the bad, and the flat-out ugly.

Filed Under: Childless Not By Choice, Family and Friends, The Childfree Life: Issues and Attitudes, Whiny Wednesdays Tagged With: childfree, childless, fb, Infertility, Mother's Day, support, Whine, whiny wednesday

Whiny Wednesday: Don’t Pity Me

May 8, 2019

A while ago, I asked you to share topic ideas for Whiny Wednesday. Quite a few of you were glad to oblige. Thanks for the great ideas. If you’d like to suggest a topic, please leave it in the comments below.

This week’s Whiny Wednesday topic is this:

Other People’s Pity

As always, you’re free to vent on your own topic, too.

Filed Under: Childless Not By Choice, Fun Stuff, The Childfree Life: Issues and Attitudes, Whiny Wednesdays Tagged With: childfree, childfree-not-by-choice, childless not by choice, Community, Dealing with questions, fb, grief, Infertility, IVF, loss, questions, Society, support, Whine, whiny wednesday

Whiny Wednesday: Infertility Amnesia

May 1, 2019


A friend of mine went through infertility hell a few years ago. When we learned of one another’s journeys, we were both glad to have an empathetic shoulder to lean on.

Then she became a mother, and developed infertility amnesia.

I’m not begrudging her the celebrations, the constant Facebook posts, or the incessant parenting talk. I get it; I’m sure I’d do the same in her situation. But the final straw came last week.

A group of us gets together about once a year and we’re starting to plan for this year. We usually go out for dinner, or bowling, or drinks and dancing. Several of us in the group don’t have children and those who do are always glad for a childfree night of adult fun.

This year, the new mom suggested we change things up and do something family-oriented and include the kids. “Maybe a beach picnic or Disneyland.” I kid you not.

Thankfully one of the other parents shot the idea down, but I had to wonder how she would have felt five years ago, in the thick of her infertility hell, if someone had made this same suggestion.

She would have felt excluded and she would have been upset. Which is just how I felt when I got her email.

Today is Whiny Wednesday. Who or what has done you wrong this week?

Filed Under: Childless Not By Choice, Children, Family and Friends, Infertility and Loss, Whiny Wednesdays Tagged With: childfree, childless, children, fb, friends, Infertility, mother, whiny wednesday

Whiny Wednesday: The Baby Aisle

April 24, 2019

When you’re deep in your grief—and even when you feel like you’re finally in a good place—there’s one place that continues to be a trigger:

The Baby Aisle

Has it caught you unprepared? Did the sight of binkies, diapers, onesies, and teething toys bring on an epic meltdown?

Here’s your chance to vent.

Filed Under: Infertility and Loss, The Childfree Life: Issues and Attitudes, Whiny Wednesdays Tagged With: baby, baby aisle, childfree-not-by-choice, childless, childless not by choice, fb, grief, loss, pregnancy, shopping, Whine, whiny wednesday

Whiny Wednesday: “I Never Knew Love Until…”

April 17, 2019


This hot-button whine was sent in from one of our readers.

When you read an interview of some celebrity or hear someone say:

“I never knew what love was until I had a child.”

So…is she saying that because I’m childless I’m not capable or “real” love or that I will be denied the experience of the highest expression of love?

Whether this makes your blood boil or cuts you to the core, whine away, sisters!

And if you have another great whine you need to get off your chest this week, here’s the place to let it rip.

Filed Under: Childfree by Choice, Childless Not By Choice, Children, Current Affairs, Family and Friends, Infertility and Loss, The Childfree Life: Issues and Attitudes, Whiny Wednesdays Tagged With: childfree, Childfree life, childless, childless not by choice, children, coming to terms, grief, Infertility, loss, love, motherhood, Society, Whine, whiny wednesday

Whiny Wednesday: Mother’s Day Part I

March 27, 2019

A big thank you to Jane for reminding me that this Sunday is Mother’s Day in the UK.

I always do a Mother’s Day post in May in preparation for the event here in the U.S., but of course, that’s too little too late for UK readers.

So, this week’s topic Mother’s Day, Part I. If you’re getting ready for the coming weekend’s challenges, feel free to reach out here. What are you dreading? How are planning to deal with the day?

If you need some tips, here are a couple of posts that might be useful:

Preparing for Mother’s Day

Bah Humbug to Mother’s Day, but Not to Mother

The Mother’s Day Card I Wish Existed

For everyone else, it’s open forum today.

Filed Under: Childless Not By Choice, Infertility and Loss, The Childfree Life: Issues and Attitudes, Whiny Wednesdays Tagged With: childless, getting through, grief, Infertility, loss, Mother's Day, tips

Whiny Wednesday: Childless People Have Money to Burn

March 20, 2019


A TIME magazine cover story awhile ago, “The Childfree Life,” came with an image of an attractive (and color-coordinated) couple lounging on a tropical, white sand beach, seemingly without a care in the world, resplendent in their designer sunglasses. That image prompted this week’s Whiny Wednesday topic:

The assumption that if you don’t have kids you have money to burn

 Whine away, my friends.

Filed Under: Childfree by Choice, Childless Not By Choice, Children, Current Affairs, The Childfree Life: Issues and Attitudes, Whiny Wednesdays Tagged With: child free, child-free living, childfree, Childfree by Choice, Childfree life, childfree-not-by-choice, childless, childless not by choice, children, Dealing with questions, fb, life without baby, Society, Whine, whiny wednesday

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