By Kathleen Guthrie Woods
I’m working in my fuzzy gray slippers today. I can do this because I’m a freelancer, I work in an office in my home, and the only creatures likely to see me in less-than-professional attire are my dogs. On most days, I choose to get dressed to the shoes because it is part of my routine, my discipline. But on a day like today, I am relishing the little perks of my status.
Which got me thinking about some of the little perks of being childfree. We’ve talked about the big perks, like having extra money for luxury purchases, being able to sleep in on the weekends, and the flexibility to travel on a whim during the off-season. I’m starting to also appreciate some of the little everyday things, too. Like being able to turn on the TV or computer without first having to shut off parental controls, or being able to curse a blue stream when I stub my toe (i.e., not worrying that my child will later repeat those words in church). I like that the laundry is manageable in my household and that I really only have to go to the market once a week. I like that right now it’s quiet here and I can hear myself think.
I think a big part of this journey for me is moving from acceptance to appreciation. For so long, I could only see the woe-is-me side of life, the loss of the family I couldn’t have, the experiences I knew I’d miss. As I shift my perspective a bit, I’m starting to see all that I have, all that I’ve been given, all that I didn’t lose.
I wish for you today a sense of peace as you look at some of the perks in your life.
Kathleen Guthrie Woods is a Northern California–based freelance writer. She is mostly at peace with her childfree status.
So very true. For years I couldn’t see the perks without anger because I had not chosen this. Then it seesawed between sad and happy for my perks. Thankfully now I’m able to see these blessings and just enjoy them much more often. Between the sad times that don’t last as long anymore.
We all get times when we feel low and wish things could be different but its good to hear that you have come a long way and done really well as its all very unfair and of course you felt angry because you lost out. Its only natural.
I still have cook a “meal” for hubby… But if he’s not home, can eat whatever, no kids to worry about!
I just commented to a friend last week that one of the very few times that I’m actually HAPPY I don’t have kids is when I hear about some poor family with multiple little’s dealing with the ravages of the stomach bug!
That’s the way I look at things. I look at what people with kids that have had to give up that I have been spared from like doing the school run and having work hours dictated by school hours as I can work any hours I choose.
What annoys me most is when people with kids complain and go round with a selfish and entitled attitude thinking they are better than everyone else and don’t appreciate that they have opportunities in life other poor people have sadly lost out on.
Just going to Target (or any store or coffee shop or movie) on a moments notice without having to spend 30 minutes wrangling and bundling up kids is something I appreciate.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece! I too work from home and (even though i hope for our miracle one day, I appreciate and enjoy the alone time of peace, relaxation and all around COMFORT .. stay blessed!
thanks for sharing this wonderful piece! I too work from home in pease and I really enjoy my COMFORT .. even thought I still hope for a miracle one day .. i just appreciate the situation I’m in because I can’t change it, might as will enjoy it! stay blessed!
I get to catch up with friends more often than I otherwise would. I have no guilt about my work/life balance. I can donate to charities, including those which support children in poverty.
Misty, you hit upon a great point. I, too, am the one who remembers birthdays and special occasions and does most of the checking in. And one of my mentors was the person who made the rounds of nursing homes, visiting those people whose own family members were too busy to spend time with them.
I can see friends more often than I otherwise would. I have no guilt about my work/life balance. I can donate to charities, including those who support children in poverty. (sorry if this appears twice – my first post ‘disappeared’).
A friend who gave birth to two big kids told me today: … “and we pee when we laugh, but your bladder Analia, is still going strong ! ”
I consider this as another perk.
♡♡
Ha!! Thanks for sharing – hilarious!
Nice on! LOL!
I’m glad I can binge watch my favourite box set TV programmes and not worry about it being unsuitable for children. Also don’t have to worry about juggling kids and other things in my life
I try to appreciate what I can do, and have because we don’t have children, but I would give it all up for just one.
I love posts like this one, because I believe it gives people permission to appreciate the little things they have and can do precisely as a result of not having children. And I’d say to Sherry (above), and anyone else who feels guilty or uncomfortable about appreciating the good things about a life without kids, that enjoying our lives, appreciating our ability to sleep-in or take holidays or go out to dinner spontaneously with our partners or friends etc etc etc, doesn’t mean that maybe we didn’t want children after all. It just means we’re making the most of what we have. And as time goes by, as you are discovering, we realise that what we have is actually a lot!